The Power of Love

Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk.

It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.

There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills. Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We think it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.

One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wanting someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing our ideal is misplaced.

It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to ward off depression. Follow these action strategies to get more of what you want out of life—to love and be loved.

• Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all thehormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.
• Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experiences.
• Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.

There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.

You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.

• Focus on the other person. Rather than focus on what you are getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. What does this person really need for his/her own well-being? This is a very tough skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're also doing enough self-care.
• Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused on themselves they don't get outside themselves enough to be able to learn to love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respond and meet their needs, the better you are going to do in love.
• Develop the ability to accommodate simultaneous reality. The loved one's reality is as important as your own, and you need to be as aware of it as of your own. What are they really saying, what are they really needing? Depressed people think the only reality is their own depressed reality.
• Actively dispute your internal messages of inadequacy. Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. As a consequence of low self-esteem, every relationship blip is interpreted far too personally as evidence of inadequacy. Quick to feel rejected by a partner, you then believe it is the treatment you fundamentally deserve. But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings of inadequacy are the depression speaking.

Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Talk back to it. "I'm not really being rejected; this isn't really evidence of inadequacy. I made a mistake." Or "this isn't about me, this is something I just didn't know how to do and now I'll learn." When you re-frame the situation to something more adequate, you can act again in an effective way and you can find and keep the love that you need.

Love and Marriage

“You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.” 

We think this is wonderful advice for those “falling in love.” Too often, two people feel the early signs of a loving relationship only to move too fast and scare away the one they are falling in love with. Or worse yet, they become so enamored with “being in love” that they become blinded to the warning signs. They so desperately want to be in love and be loved that they miss important clues to the real feelings of the one they love. 

In  many interviews over the years with individuals who have had a successful and long-term relationship with somebody, we have repeatedly heard this advice – go slow in the beginning. 

You've heard the old expression, “Rome wasn't built in a day.” One thing for certain – neither was love. It develops over time. It requires patience. It requires self-examination. And it most certainly requires you to run slowly across fields until you find the proper footing, lest you fall down! 

Building confidence in any budding love relationship takes time and commitment. It requires a level of objectivity about what is going on at a level you may have never reached before. People falling in love do not lie to each other, but they often lie to themselves about what is happening to them. They let feelings and emotions get the best of them before they are truly ready to share their heart with another – before they are ready to make the honest and caring commitment required to make love last. 

: 

Here “is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long
without love, they understand love only as a need. The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as
their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.
They cease to be someone who generates love and instead
become someone who seeks love. They forget that the
secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to
grow only by giving it away.” 

The message here should be clear – love is a gift you give to someone, and if you are lucky, they give it back in return. But the real lesson here is that you need to step back and make sure that you feel good about giving your love away as a gift. And to do this takes time. It takes reflection. It requires being honest with yourself about what you are feeling and what you are giving away to another human being. Rushing to judgment about matters of such profound importance is never a wise thing to do. Giving love away takes time. Accepting true love takes courage, trust and time. 

Target scholarship

Here we are talking about target scholarship. But let us know what scholarship is? Scholarship is a financial help to student for their current study or for further study. Here student to whom scholarship given must be not capable to handle his educational expenditure or he is poor and wants to study. Scholarship also has various types and the main factor we should know about the donor and the purpose of scholarship. In most of cases the money should not be refunded but some of organization gives the scholar to bright student in the contract to work for their company after their study. This is particularly not called scholarship but can be called as loan. Usually the donors are big financial institution or the charity organization or may be some business tycoons. The types of scholar ship can be discussed below as: 
Merit-based: scholarship is given to the bright student who is good in almost all fields and the donor gives the scholarship to the college rather giving to in the hand of student. 

Need-based: scholarship is given to needy student either he is good or average at the study. The student should fill up the firm and later the needy student is given the scholarship by the donor. 

Student-based: Scholarship is given to student according to race, caste, culture, gender etc. 

Career-specific: Scholarship is given to the student who wants to make career in specific field and position. Now after knowing about the scholarship let us talk about target scholarship. Target is one of the retail store chain of department store of America having many outlets. It was first opened in 1968 in Minnesota. Soon after its opening America found one of the major retail store and today target market has many dedicated and trusting customers. Target started working in various fields like charity, social work and other work that is beneficial for the community or community service. And one of the major field in which target is working is education. 

It started scholarship program to the desiring, needy and excellent student who wants to study and do something for the community making them easy to go to school to get the degree they desire. The scholarship provided by the target ranges from high school to universities. Now talking about the type of scholarship the target provides. It provides annually 2100 scholarship package to the student who have performed well and shown talents and desire to study more. Four scholarship of 10000 dollar are given nationwide each year. Apart from this each target retail store provides scholarship to two candidates around the community who have shown their academic talents and community works. This is done because after the student has completed his study he will do something good and meaningful for the community. To get target scholarship anyone interest should be under following criteria.

 The student should have completed his high school under the age of 24 and should have joined the college or university for his graduation. The student must have GPA of 3.0, and mainly should be the citizen of America. if the criteria is fulfilled the student are given the scholarship so that student can complete their education in any field they like. And also the scholarships are given to African American students and Hispanic student after the tie up with the charity working for the African American and Hispanic students. In 2013 as the tradition of target retail store more than 2100 students were given scholarship. And in the same manner in the scholarship program is set for 2014 and 2015. Interested, needy and deserving student under the above mentioned criteria can apply online. The online application has opened. Just we have to fill up the form and don’t take more than 5 minutes.

 Another category of scholarship provided by target is target stuff scholarship in which the students below age 16 are participated in fun oriented show and win the prize like tablets, gift cards, microwave, gaming bundle, and even the cash prize. And the students have to compete in many categories and the highest vote receiver will be the winner of the target stuff scholarship. The main reason for this scholar ship is to make children motivate towards study by giving the school needed stuff with a fun oriented environment. More of the information about target scholarship can be found in website or we can just visit the target store to know more about it .

My Carrier Goals

Before talking about carrier goals let us know what is carrier goal? There are many types of goal such as personal goal, company goal, and social goal and also it has time duration as one year or may last up to forever. Firstly we can set short term goal to make all the things right and then we can take a leap to get what we want. But we are talking about carrier goal and personal so let us talk about it. It consists of only 2 words but these 2 words play a very vital role and determine what we are going to be in future. Carrier goal are anything done to achieve our future carrier path. It is anything done to make our future carrier in the right direction and to make sure how are we going to live for the rest of our life.
 It should be set according to our capacity, interest and importantly keeping our qualification on our mind. But the goal we set today should be for future and should be achievable. While setting our goal we must think in what thing we are going to focus in future such as money, status, personality. We should not make carrier goal by copying other since our ideas, interest and qualification differs which may crash our goal as well as our future dreams. Carrier goal must be decided by thinking only us in mind. But everybody sets carrier goal keeping money in mind which may be realistic because every person’s desire and want ends on money. We should set the goal in such as way so that we should not have to regret for rest of life by saying I did wrong selection. 
We must be very careful while choosing the carrier goal and before choosing goal we must know at what thing we are good at and keeping the thing in mind we should search about it. To obtain the goal we must set a track from the beginning so that it will be easy to walk on it and achieve what we want. The carrier goal must be possible to achieve if we make our carrier goal that is impossible then we may be called insane. And at last when we can’t achieve the goal we will regret and we have to start from the beginning which is very hard and painful. The carrier goal must be a long term and should have a vision for prosperity and satisfaction. It must be healthy and should be beneficial to other also. Sometime only one option for carrier goal may get failed due to external and internal factor so we always should have set alternative carrier goal and think about it and at last looking at various factor and after doing analysis we can choose the best alternative for us or if we don’t want to chance the goal or the time factor doesn’t allow us to reach that goal we just can modify the goal looking interest and the capacity of ours. For example a management student can set a carrier goal to be a successful manager or a corporate personality or a humanity student can set carrier goal to be a good professor or even a social worker and if they don’t want according to their educational back ground they can do what they want to but it must be possible and is should have interest of their own. Choosing carrier goal is easy job but the main and difficult thing is hard work, patience to achieve what you set and want to be in future. The main determining factor of carrier goal is our commitment and dedication towards it.
 The society also is an important factor that determines goal is society is full of good people who are in good profession then we also want to be like them but if society is full of bad and negative people we often tend to choose bad goal resulting in damage of our life. Avoiding such negative aspect and keeping many of the things in mind while thinking and setting carrier goal as we talked above can make us want we want to be in future. However goal setting and achieving task is difficult but not impossible. 

Relationship Advice

Brought in this world as humans, once can’t escape from relationship. Interpersonal relationship, Ethical relationship and Intimate relationship are among the various kind of relationship. Simply relationship means the state of being connected. Whenever we hear the world relationship, the relationship between boy and girl comes in our mind which is named as marriage and love. This article mainly defines and advice about these relationships despite there is other relationship in the world. There are some steps need to realize and follow from the start if you want a healthy relationship. A seed takes a month or two come out as plant, so is the relationship.
 It can feel effortless but exciting, long term and successful relationship requires endless effort, compromise along with true love and commitment. Developing a healthy or good pattern in the initial stage of your relationship can come out as a solid foundation in the long run. If you are starting a relationship, it is necessary to construct, investigate and establish it in the initial stage. Construct: the first step in the initial relationship is to construct a base of appreciation and respect. You need to understand what your partner says and does and you should never miss the opportunity to say thank you to your partner rather than being focused to point on their mistake. Investigate: You need to investigate each other hobbies, interest, opinion which can lead towards coming up with the long list of things you want to do and enjoy together. Also for happy relationship couples are advised to try new things together which lead towards the expansion of mutual interest. Start: Start a habit of apologizing if you make mistake or hurt your partner’s feeling by saying I m Sorry. It might be hard for a moment to apologies but builds a long way relationship.
 It develops more trust in your partner towards you if they come to know you are responsible and aware for your words and action towards them. After a month: Prominent things to know as your relationship grows Change in Relationship: Change is needed in every aspect of our life. so how can relationship avoid them. If there is positive change then welcome it as an opportunity and if it is negative then try to figure out and solve it. Periodically Inspection: To maintain a good relation it is necessary to keep aside some time to check for each other goals and expectation if it is changed or same. If pair ignore this topic it becomes hard for them to sustain their relationship.  Precaution at time of conflict: Conflict or disagreement in a relationship is normal as we cannot escape the time of sadness, anger, and tension. The source of conflict can be change in behavior of partner, unrealistic demands.
 To overcome this you need honesty, healthy communication, a willingness to think your partner’s prospective positive even if you do not understand and consider it to be fruitful. A healthy communication is required when there comes a time for important decisions considering marriage, sex, career and family. Here are some guidelines for conflict management: To know each other’s family background: The main reason of conflict in a relationship is the family background and the prospective of the family. The partner before going in to a serious relationship should know the family back ground of each other to avoid the future conflict. Time and duration of relation: It is another factor bringing conflict in the relationship. For a healthy relation you require a plenty of time to know each other’s mutual interest as well as differences they have. You need to give enough time to sort out these differences and come up with healthy relationship. Create a foundation of emotional support: 
As man are considered to have fewer emotions than women have and to have a successful relationship woman should take a responsibility of accepting differences and try to adjust in positive way. Message clarification: A clear message includes respect to partner in addition to the direct expression of one’s needs, demands and desires. You need to take some time for yourself to think before you discuss the same matter with your partner   There are some special websites as well as blogs of some intellectuals personality generating ideas and knowledge about the secrets of healthy relationship in the internet and also articles discussing and giving  advice about healthy relationship. 

Loveless Marriage

Loveless marriage is defined as marriage of two individuals without love, understanding & communication. We can also define that “A loveless relationship or situation is one where there is no love between couples”. But at first we have to understand what is marriage & love & what are the reasons of loveless marriage. Marriage is a social & legal relationship between couples & their families. Its definition varies according to culture, customs & religion. In some culture marriage is mentioned without having any sexual relationship before the marriage.
 Marriage is universal & permanent. There are several reasons & motives for marriage which includes- sexual, legal, financial & spiritual & many more. In many continents of the world marriage are arranged. Forced marriages are not valid by some government. Loveless marriage is the slow increasing of annoyances, pain, discomfort, bitterness, unpleasantness, ego & lack of communication that burdens the love & life of couples. And every time both couples choose to ignore each other & avoid communicating, the relationship is only limited to get nearer to end. Emotional Affairs: If couples are suffering from unhappy & loveless marriage, both partners avoid communicating & talking with each other. They are confident to each other.
 The couple doesn't like to share their problems. The couples feel comfortable talking someone else about their unhappy marriage. Most couples spend their big part of time away from each other. The couples like to enjoy their work place. As time going couple love someone another, despite of their husband/wife.  Emotional affairs are enormously common. Complaints relationship: There is a complaint, objections & problems between the couples, because they never understand each other and their individual point of view, complaint relationship makes life & love miserable too. Both partners neglect each other & fall asleep as soon as they moved to bed. Needs & Desires: Lack of needs & desires is the main factor of loveless marriage. The needs & desires aren't satisfied by the couple. The need can be sexual, social, moral etc. Sometimes the lover’s needs & desires & unmatched with each other. Individual Lives: Marriage relationships are one of the first things that makes our live blissful & pleasant. Miscommunication: Lack of Communication between the couples is the main factors of loveless marriage. At the initial phase of marriage the couples spends lots of time together as the time passes miscommunication arises. Trust: Trust is the main factor for happy marriage. But if there is lack of trust between couples then the complexity starts between couples. Jealousy & Insecurity: In loveless relationship there is chances of jealousy & insecurity between couples. The couple doesn't have trust in each other. Unharmonious in Love: In loveless marriage there is incompatibility & inharmonious in love. Loss of Sex drive: Loss of sexual drive is common factor in loveless marriage. Different life directions: In loveless marriage there is lot of conflicts between the couples. They doesn’t communicate with each other as the time passes. Principles & Responsibilities: Everybody have their own principles & responsibilities. The main responsibility of a couple is to earn money for their family & looking after their family. In loveless marriage both partners not depend on each other. Irritation between married couples: In loveless relationship one partner irritates with another partner because of several reasons. The reason might be sexual, moral or social or might be some other factors. The couples are not excited anymore: In loveless marriage the couples are unexcited & having lack of interest between them. The couples feel bored to spend time with each other. 
They both want to stay out of it. Blaming each other: In loveless marriage the couple blames each other. There are always arguments between them & arguments always happen. The ego: In loveless marriage there is a problem of ego between couples. The ego is powerful tool in loveless marriage. Ego problem destroys the life of couples. Marriage means a team who united together. Loveless marriage is extremely common & prevalent in our society. In loveless marriage the couples have lack of emotional affairs. There is unconfident complaint between the couples. The couples are unexcited &don’t  show any interest to each other. 

Summer Season

Whenever summer season comes in my mind I get picture of hot day, street full of women in shorts skirts, men in hot pants and beaches full of bikini. Bounded by the different seasons sometimes hot sometime cold sometimes it all rainy and sometime all is well, summer season is the kind warmth season of all four flavor. Initiation with the longest day and shortest night it bring with it the season to sow seeds in land, plant flowers and put the foundation to your whole year livelihood. Summer season is best of all season. Though the days are warmer it’s the only season whose commencement is waited eagerly by all. Varying according to culture, tradition and climate, it rules differently in two hemispheres. People in southern hemisphere enjoy summer people in northern hemisphere experiences chill wind and cold winter.   We get to eat ripe mangoes in summer along with the pine apples and jack fruits. The dappled orchard of palm and mango tree provides with breathe taking views and they are really cool. The cuckoo waits to sing her song whereas grasshopper is free to dance on the blades of grass. The whole thing is orderly and clean in summer. Taking about the ways roads and path are open to very place you want to visit. It’s the summer when flower are allowed to blossom in evening spreading their scent at nights. As the day is long we can get more time to work and children as well can play for a long time in evening. To enjoy the summer office, school as well as other organization provides you with the summer break in order to enjoy the warm weather along with the longer days. In all countries during summer the students are out of school and college getting special summer break.   The interesting fact is that, it’s the only season that has the large collection of public holidays. Though it is very hot in this season yet we wait eagerly for its commencement because of its warm nature. As it’s the only season that allows the people to take the full advantage by outdoors picnics or spending more time on beach. The main sports of this season are cricket, volleyball, tennis, water polo as well as water sports .